For instance, you don't have enough history and experience with this child to know what to expect from him. If he gets mad will he cry, sulk, or run out of the house and down the street? I don't know! How LONG will he cry, sulk, and how FAR will he run down the street? I don't know! Will he stay in his classroom at school or will he think it's ok to wander around the halls? I don't know! Will anyone see him if he leaves? I don't know! Will he be polite to a stranger at the store or will he make an embarrassing face at them? I don't know!
Another example is that I can't really enjoy time away from home by myself when he's home with my husband. Will Scott feed him the right foods? Will he undo all the hard work I've done in "training" Williams with one unfortunate decision? Will he watch him closely enough to make sure he doesn't run out of the house and down the street (see above)? I really do think we're on the same page, but sometimes I just can't help wonder what happens when mom's gone.
I have definitely learned that there are a few more things you CAN'T force a child to do, or not to do, for that matter.
- You cannot make them not spit.
- You cannot make them yell at you in English instead of Twi.
- You cannot make them not run from you if you've already lost your grip on them.
- You can't force them to smile.
Although this list makes it sound like all our times are bad, that certainly is not the case. Most of our times are good and the bad times are getting fewer every day. (Pretty much non-existent today :-) I just really have to keep a sense of humor about the tough times and situations. We already think about how we'll enjoy telling Williams when he's 15 some of the things he did when he first came home. I'm sure he'll be proud of his resourcefulness.
4 comments:
Okay Amy Jo! You had me laughing tonight! Don't take this the wrong way but I totally identified with not being able to enjoy your alone time. I'm training our new puppy in a BIG way and when I leave her in Eric's care or (gasp!) the backyard unattended I am a nervous wreck wondering if everything is being done "right!" A kid and a puppy--TOTALLY differen things! But it still gave me a chuckle. Here's hoping for much more good than bad in the coming months!
Amy Jo, you are scaring the crud out of me, girl!!! What do yo do when you have 4 kids running in 4 directions down the street... I don't know!!! :)
I'm glad that things are getting better with Williams and they WILL continue to get better and better with each day he's home.
And I just wanted to say that your post is gold! You did such a great job of explaining the "post adoption fog" of getting to know your child.
Blessings, Heather A
Hi Amy!
My name is Ericka, I found your blog somewhere...one of Ghana moms...
I live 'north' in IL but lived in MO during my high school days: Francis Howell, my best friend still lives there and works at El Sevier.....
We're adopting from Ghana (Beacon House)....
Please feel free to stop by and say hi....tho honestly, our blog isn't very exciting, mostly for the family who all live far away.
Your William is absolutely adorable! And the running down the street just about cracked me up!!!!
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