Supermom

No, I am certainly not speaking of myself. I am talking about Williams birth mother Martha. I have never felt such a mixture of emotions about a woman I know nothing about and have never met. I have trouble even thinking of the words to describe my thoughts.

Martha has made the most selfless, motherly decision a mother could ever make for her child. She has given him up to another mother in order to give him hope, safety, and a life that could not even begin to match anything he could have in Ghana. This is a decision that I don't even think most of us can even begin to fathom. It's like trying to contemplate "infinity". I feel like I start to get a concrete notion of it, and then my mind gets overcome by the vastness of it. My mind is not capable of grasping it.

I can not comprehend being in such a hopeless situation that the only answer is to give up your child. I can not comprehend no other way out. It is not something that my brain has any experience with.

I feel fiercely protective of this woman who has made this decision. When I feel that someone may be thinking she must not be much of a mom if she could give up her child after 5 years. I must turn the tables and suggest that she is like no other mother that I know because she HAS made the decision to give up her child. I fear that in my selfishness I would decide that even if my path was leading no where, or worse, at least we'll be together. I hope and am quite sure I'll never have to find out.

I find myself often struggling with guilt for bringing Williams into our family. I think, "why can't someone just give a little help to Martha so that she can keep her only remaining child?" It really wouldn't take much at all by our standards. One of the problems, I guess, is that there are a million other similar cases like hers. I know also that there may be more to the story than I know, but since I don't know it, I will continue to think of Martha as a hero.

You don't hear stories of mother's like this very often in America. Thank you God that we live in a country where mother's do not have to let their children go in order to give them a future. Thank you God that if Williams can not be with Martha, he can be with me. Thank you God for Martha. I pray that He will give me words to speak to her when we meet this summer.